January 12, 2023
Women, we have so many opportunities to impact our culture. “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Is the Hand That Rules the World.” Right? That was a poem published in 1865 by William Ross Wallace that praised motherhood. I believe that title contains some timeless truths and reminders for today.
Women are inherently nurturers. We are granted the privilege of building a solid home by setting a godly tone for the culture of the home. (That includes what we allow as part of our daily routines—how we use our time, how we choose our entertainment, and how we utilize our devices.) Are we present or distracted moms?
We get to parent our children in an intentional way (doing family devotions, applying discipline, requiring a work ethic, and teaching responsibility). This is the recipe for building spiritual warriors who will be strong enough to stand against the wiles of the devil and the lures of this culture. When we fulfill our role as “MOM,” we are equipping our children with security and confidence.
It is important to grasp the unique way God created us as women to be insightful, protective, attentive, and possess a sixth sense of intuitiveness that serves as a radar for harmful signals surrounding those we love.
The Bible has set some clear priorities, Deuteronomy 6:5 states: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” God is the foundational piece. But after noting all the value of mothering, we must remember our second priority IS our spouse. NOT OUR CHILDREN!
So regardless of how well we mother, we must strive to have a biblical marriage. Being a “mamma bear” comes more naturally than striving to fight for a strong marriage. How about this for a modern-day proverb? “The Marriage that Honors their Covenant Impacts the World.” How you say? Marriage was meant to model and display God’s glory to all creation.
Our union with our mate should meld us into “one flesh” which like the Holy Trinity shows plurality and unity. We become “one” for the rest of our lives, while still maintaining our individuality — and it should be obvious to those around us. First and foremost, our kids.
A man is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25); a model of man dying to himself to cover his wife with love and blessing. That does not mean that a husband becomes a door mat or that kind of sacrificial love should be taken for granted.
No, in fact that makes the command for women to “submit to our husbands as to the Lord’ so much easier (Ephesians 5:25). That word “submit” directs us to defer to him. Submission means selflessness, service, accountability, and respect. It is not a form of slavery or a call to lose one’s voice. Submission is not inferiority but a way to honor the God appointed design of leadership in the home. The husband is the covering of the wife. God made the husband-and-wife relationship specifically to mirror the Godhead in-the-area of authority.
As women, we need to be our husband’s biggest advocate, respect his leadership role, and are called to be a helper to him. “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (Proverbs 14:1).
A godly relationship will express more of what is caught than taught amongst our watching children. If the marriage is not functioning correctly, it displays a marred image of God. And with so many marriages ending in divorce within the Christian community, the glory of God has been greatly dimmed.
It’s never too late for us to self-assess. Here are some questions to consider as we’ve entered a New Year:
Is your husband your top priority after your relationship with the Lord? Is it obvious to your children and close associates? Do you seek ways to enhance your communication with your spouse?
Are you depositing more into your children, work, church, and friends than your spouse?
Remember if you are not depositing into him you are withdrawing from him.
Does he know that you respect him? Do you speak unkindly about him behind his back? Do you have his back first and foremost?
Do you defer to his leadership? Are you merging into one flesh? Do you miss him if you are away for a prolonged part of the day?
Do you allow him to fail and not emasculate him with criticism? Are you a faithful representative of him in all you do, where you go, how you speak, and what you wear?
These are just a few important questions to answer on your way to building up your household for the cause of Christ. It is the death of marriage that will ultimately kill generations of kids, destroy the communities we live in, the churches we attend, and even diminish the strength of our country.
Are we building up or tearing down?